Alternate Reality Ramble 007

Intro

This is about space, personal space is very important. One of the things I hate is people disregarding the importance of personal space. And a couple of my friends are in relationships where they're basically suffocating because of the lack of space.

This goes out to all those who understand the difference between comfort and nosiness.

The Story

The days passed so slowly for him sometimes. Especially since they were so far apart. They weren't going to be able to meet until at least 6 more months and it was killing him. He Facetimed her almost everyday but she was always so busy. They used to send messages to each other all the time. Stupid little mundane messages, asking about each others' day and what colour their outfits were or the weather...things like that. She always got so mad when he asked her who she was out with, where they were going, how late it would be...things like that that used to be their thing. Was it just his existence that annoyed her? Or was it something more?

She woke up, hungover, and the first thing she did is check her phone. No messages from him. She had too much pride to send a message first so she would just have to wait for him to send one. He would, eventually. He was so annoying about the whole 'let's talk everyday and share our feelings' and shit. She was okay with it in the beginning but it was getting so tiresome. Is this why so many people got married and then ended up getting divorced? Was it just too difficult to be with that only one person that you choose to be with for the rest of your life? She put the phone down and went back to a restless sleep.

He wondered what she was doing, it was something he thought about a lot but doubted that she wasted any time dwelling on. She must have gone out last night, since she didn't pick up his call. Or maybe she was finally tired of him? He waited for the relief that that thought would bring to him but all he felt was a hollow sort of emptiness. Without her, he would survive. But with her, he was the best version of himself that he could be. It was almost supernatural, the way she made him be so much more than he was and more than he ever thought he could be. Should he take the first step, as always? Should he do it? Would she find it imposing and annoying and not reply or switch off her phone or something, or, if he was lucky, would she respond and not be in a cranky mood for once?

She couldn't go back to sleep. It was too weird, that he hadn't texted last night or in the morning. She knew he was up, she probably knew his routine better than he did-another thing that annoyed her about herself! She was a 'strong, independent woman' (or so they said) and she shouldn't be so dependent on a man. Or a relationship. Hence, she decided she'd go out again tonight. To prove that she was just fine all on her own. Life was good. Life was great. But life felt like there was a tiny hole in the side sucking at her, making it impossible for her to really be happy. She sighed, maybe she SHOULD text him. After all, who cared about these things? The bottom line was that at least they'd be in touch.

He paced back and forth tying to decide if he should do it. If he should text her. She would be awake by now, he knew. Her patterns were utterly unpredictable-something that he loved liked about her-but he could feel that she was awake. Most probably, that was just fanciful thinking. But hey, you never know! Maybe he shouldn't text her. Maybe she needed some space. No. He was so conflicted. Finally, he decided that he WOULD text her. She was his and he was hers and nothing else really mattered. Not even if neither of them would be able to label what they were to each other. Not even if they couldn't decided how they felt about each other. Not even...if anything. They were theirs. And it was okay.

It's not like she was dating him or anything. So she probably shouldn't text him so obsessively or anything. But so what? She didn't want to date him. Or did she? She didn't know. She had always been an insanely confused individual. She never knew what she wanted. She had, however, made it clear to him, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn't in the dating zone. And probably didn't like him that way. But all her friends saw something else. And it was insane. Or was it? She didn't even know. Either way, there's no way he thought of her that way. She had sent so many hints, questions and signals but she had never gotten appropriate responses. They were probably never going to be a thing.

Then he remembered that she always sort of...friend zoned him. And after that, he had started doing it to her. They could never be together. She had been so clear about that...hadn't she? Every once in a while she gave out these weird vibes or feelings but he was never really sure. And she always seemed so sure all the time! He wished that he could always be that confident and so completely zen. She was always at peace, he used to joke that she should be a redhead. Fiery and confident, so she could tell him that he knew nothing. Another silly little suggestive joke between them that was yet another confusing message. He shook his head. It was just one text, no harm, no foul.

"Hi" "Hey"

Each got a message from the other at exactly the same time. They both laughed and felt their hearts get a little lighter, suddenly.

And then, the cycle repeated itself yet again, with both hiding themselves from themselves and each other while baring their other-selves so easily that it was obvious what they had been hiding for so long.