Intro
Sometimes, you have a dream or a nightmare that is grotesque and unreal but peppered with specks of reality which is the part that makes you question it.
I don't dream much-or at least, I don't remember my dreams much. They're generally super crazy and convoluted so it's not really worth remembering. (Read: Murder plots, death, tragedy, knives/guns, people, mistaken identities, etc) But I once had a recurring dream/nightmare about a person I had once shared my life with and it hadn't been pleasant. I'd wake up, unable to shake it off. And those affected me more than all the things it had felt like the person had done. Maybe they really had used me while pretending to themselves that they hadn't. Maybe the person only thought they liked me. Maybe the person was a f***ing asswipe who always needed to date someone or the other and I was their current obsession and they needed the new toy. Maybe that's all they ever needed, the perfect possession, but I hadn't been the perfect accouterment so it didn't work out. Maybe that's the reason why someone who couldn't not contact me for longer than half an hour managed to drop completely out of my life in an unfathomable way literally in a day. It was easy when the person was in this and when it stopped being easy they left and probably because they found another perfect accessory. Whatever it was, the lesson I take back from it is that my instincts are always right. I had kept saying no for a long time because that's what I thought was going to happen, in the end. And I was right: Lesson learnt. I'm always right. HAH!
And I'm beautiful, and I'm imperfect and I'm not a monster. I'm many things, but I'm truthful about who I am and that's more than I can say for anyone else that I know. But I love you all, anyway, you too, my dear readers. You, most of all.
And I'm not responsible for someone else's entire life because that's the one thing that I can't be responsible for. I can't.
(Of course, this could all be complete shit or, more likely, someone's story that I'm borrowing because that's what I do-but you'll never know :3 )
Well, we shared a life for a year and then it was no more. Literally :D
People are wonderful, aren't they?
Anyway, so this story started off as a result of a dream I had and the effect it had. Or maybe it was a result of something that happened to a certain someone. But ANYWAY. So. I've noticed that's an interesting trend in our lives, the whole dreamscape vs reality thing. But I was interrupted a few times in between so the middle and the conclusion changed completely-as did the intro, sadly enough. Anyway, it's not a great piece of work. It's a little sloppy-but it's something.
[Also, you know who you are. And I know what you did. Believe me when I tell you it's not going to make things better, that message got lost in this story but I'll come up with what this was really supposed to be, eventually. I'm always here for you, but I really wish you wouldn't do this to yourself. You're better than this and you know it. :) I'm not judging because hello, me. But you know why this time was different and I know what you're going through and it's going to get worse this way. Please. Don't.]
Happy reading :D
(And don't be the girl in the story, because that was always supposed to be the point of the story)
She awoke with a gasp, shaking, and clutching the sheets close to her. She wiped away the sweat before the AC air could make it worse and shook her head in order to remove her demons from her mind. Little did she know, or maybe she did know, that it was a pointless attempt. One cannot escape one's own demons when they lie in wait in one's own mind. After all, who could ever escape from themselves? We are but driven completely insane by our own selves, in the end.
She suddenly realized something was off, this morning.
Looking around, she realized that this wasn't her room, and that wasn't her bed and she had never seen this place before and hadn't expected to find herself naked under that unfamiliar sheet, either.
The shower was running, and she opened it to see an unfamiliar-ly familiar man there, as expected. She watched the water drip onto the floor as he stepped towards her, smiling and she had to stop herself from moving back a step. It took all her self control to let him touch her.
"Hey you," he smiled, and his dimple made him seem even prettier that the simple stud he was wearing on his right ear.
She reached for him in an unconscious attempt to mimic her past and finally ended up twirling his wet curls. He shook his hair and she let out a tiny squeal, "No! You're getting me wet!"
He gave her a very sexy come-hither look and his eyes traveled the length of her body which was hidden beneath the sheet she still clutched against herself, very tightly. She might have been more turned on if she hadn't been planning her escape, already.
She pulled him closer and let the sheet drop, while they kissed in the sauna the hot water had turned the bathroom into. She let her hand travel so she could feel all of him while her body could feel how happy he was to be pressed against her at that moment. He was being a perfect gentleman about it, while it was her hormones making her want more, so much more.
Suddenly, she caught a glance of them in the mirror behind him and she pushed herself away.
"What happened?" he asked.
"I...I-I'm sorry. I have to go!"
"Wait," he reached out to her,"Please don't. I made breakfast-you like bacon, right?"
She shivered, remembering the last time someone had asked her about breakfast at their empty apartment and she had declined and sent someone else as a test and was proven right because her suspicions had been correct, "I'm sorry, I can't."
"Can't what?" he asked, perplexed.
She pulled on her dress and slipped into her shoes. She grabbed her pretty purple clutch and walked out the door. He tried to stop her, unlike someone else. He wanted her to stay, maybe she should have? She was going to get a headache now. At least someone wanted her to stay, who cared if it was this beautiful guy and not him?
She hailed a cab and heard him shout from the window, "Will I see you again? Please?"
She looked at him, one foot in the cab, "Sure, Dominic...I'll call you!" She had no intention of doing so. She might have been new to this sort of thing but she knew the rules.
The cab left as he watched it exit his street, and he whispered, "My name's Damon. And you don't have my number." She seemed so extraordinary, he thought, but she was so haunted. She spoke in her sleep of a person who called her his 'twisted rainbow' but had failed to really understand her. She moved like she was afraid someone would see her but she seemed to attract a spotlight wherever she was. She slept like she was afraid to be hurt. She was extraordinary, and he hoped he would meet her again, someday.
She sat in the cab, all alone, and she tried to learn how to breath all over again. Her body felt so used but in a better waythan it had the few last time times with the last person who should have been her only person but her heart, it was bruised and fractured and not ready. Not yet.
A flashback.
She shuddered.
He had felt so good, it had been her first time. he hadn't known but she guessed she was finally ready. A thought nagged at her, a thought about someone else she had denied this to. A thought about someone else who had pushed and pushed and made her feel like a...slut, or a whore. But she had given in and denied him only one thing and now she had finally done that with a complete stranger and she didn't remember anything except that she had enjoyed it. She liked him, Dominic, no last name, and he had been wonderful. They had stayed up all night after-just talking about things. Sharing their lives for one night. They had fallen asleep- or had she passed out because she had been too intoxicated to stay awake? She wondered about him- as she would in the future. She thought about who he was and could have been to her.
But she wasn't ready for the emotion.
She wasn't ready for anything anymore. Someone had already ruined her so completely that she almost forgot how to breath, now, sometimes.
Sitting alone, he had his cereal. Didn't bother making the bacon and sausages because it had only been a short while but he already missed her. Not just the scent of her skin or the feeling of her body next to him but other things. He missed the way she spoke to him. He missed how alive she seemed one second and how there would be a flash of something deeper, darker and sadder, the next minute. For some unfathomable reason, he itched to be able to call her and talk to her-this girl had affected him. A random girl who he would probably never meet again.
He wanted to chase the darkness out of her eyes.
He wanted to kiss the pain out of her smiles.
He wanted to make her happy the way he wanted to be happy.
And he would never see her again.
Life went on, and so did they. C'est la vie,
but they never forgot because they felt the emptiness in themselves and the pain of letting go.
Sometimes, you have a dream or a nightmare that is grotesque and unreal but peppered with specks of reality which is the part that makes you question it.
I don't dream much-or at least, I don't remember my dreams much. They're generally super crazy and convoluted so it's not really worth remembering. (Read: Murder plots, death, tragedy, knives/guns, people, mistaken identities, etc) But I once had a recurring dream/nightmare about a person I had once shared my life with and it hadn't been pleasant. I'd wake up, unable to shake it off. And those affected me more than all the things it had felt like the person had done. Maybe they really had used me while pretending to themselves that they hadn't. Maybe the person only thought they liked me. Maybe the person was a f***ing asswipe who always needed to date someone or the other and I was their current obsession and they needed the new toy. Maybe that's all they ever needed, the perfect possession, but I hadn't been the perfect accouterment so it didn't work out. Maybe that's the reason why someone who couldn't not contact me for longer than half an hour managed to drop completely out of my life in an unfathomable way literally in a day. It was easy when the person was in this and when it stopped being easy they left and probably because they found another perfect accessory. Whatever it was, the lesson I take back from it is that my instincts are always right. I had kept saying no for a long time because that's what I thought was going to happen, in the end. And I was right: Lesson learnt. I'm always right. HAH!
And I'm beautiful, and I'm imperfect and I'm not a monster. I'm many things, but I'm truthful about who I am and that's more than I can say for anyone else that I know. But I love you all, anyway, you too, my dear readers. You, most of all.
And I'm not responsible for someone else's entire life because that's the one thing that I can't be responsible for. I can't.
(Of course, this could all be complete shit or, more likely, someone's story that I'm borrowing because that's what I do-but you'll never know :3 )
Well, we shared a life for a year and then it was no more. Literally :D
People are wonderful, aren't they?
Anyway, so this story started off as a result of a dream I had and the effect it had. Or maybe it was a result of something that happened to a certain someone. But ANYWAY. So. I've noticed that's an interesting trend in our lives, the whole dreamscape vs reality thing. But I was interrupted a few times in between so the middle and the conclusion changed completely-as did the intro, sadly enough. Anyway, it's not a great piece of work. It's a little sloppy-but it's something.
[Also, you know who you are. And I know what you did. Believe me when I tell you it's not going to make things better, that message got lost in this story but I'll come up with what this was really supposed to be, eventually. I'm always here for you, but I really wish you wouldn't do this to yourself. You're better than this and you know it. :) I'm not judging because hello, me. But you know why this time was different and I know what you're going through and it's going to get worse this way. Please. Don't.]
Happy reading :D
(And don't be the girl in the story, because that was always supposed to be the point of the story)
Story
She awoke with a gasp, shaking, and clutching the sheets close to her. She wiped away the sweat before the AC air could make it worse and shook her head in order to remove her demons from her mind. Little did she know, or maybe she did know, that it was a pointless attempt. One cannot escape one's own demons when they lie in wait in one's own mind. After all, who could ever escape from themselves? We are but driven completely insane by our own selves, in the end.
She suddenly realized something was off, this morning.
Looking around, she realized that this wasn't her room, and that wasn't her bed and she had never seen this place before and hadn't expected to find herself naked under that unfamiliar sheet, either.
The shower was running, and she opened it to see an unfamiliar-ly familiar man there, as expected. She watched the water drip onto the floor as he stepped towards her, smiling and she had to stop herself from moving back a step. It took all her self control to let him touch her.
"Hey you," he smiled, and his dimple made him seem even prettier that the simple stud he was wearing on his right ear.
She reached for him in an unconscious attempt to mimic her past and finally ended up twirling his wet curls. He shook his hair and she let out a tiny squeal, "No! You're getting me wet!"
He gave her a very sexy come-hither look and his eyes traveled the length of her body which was hidden beneath the sheet she still clutched against herself, very tightly. She might have been more turned on if she hadn't been planning her escape, already.
She pulled him closer and let the sheet drop, while they kissed in the sauna the hot water had turned the bathroom into. She let her hand travel so she could feel all of him while her body could feel how happy he was to be pressed against her at that moment. He was being a perfect gentleman about it, while it was her hormones making her want more, so much more.
Suddenly, she caught a glance of them in the mirror behind him and she pushed herself away.
"What happened?" he asked.
"I...I-I'm sorry. I have to go!"
"Wait," he reached out to her,"Please don't. I made breakfast-you like bacon, right?"
She shivered, remembering the last time someone had asked her about breakfast at their empty apartment and she had declined and sent someone else as a test and was proven right because her suspicions had been correct, "I'm sorry, I can't."
"Can't what?" he asked, perplexed.
She pulled on her dress and slipped into her shoes. She grabbed her pretty purple clutch and walked out the door. He tried to stop her, unlike someone else. He wanted her to stay, maybe she should have? She was going to get a headache now. At least someone wanted her to stay, who cared if it was this beautiful guy and not him?
She hailed a cab and heard him shout from the window, "Will I see you again? Please?"
She looked at him, one foot in the cab, "Sure, Dominic...I'll call you!" She had no intention of doing so. She might have been new to this sort of thing but she knew the rules.
The cab left as he watched it exit his street, and he whispered, "My name's Damon. And you don't have my number." She seemed so extraordinary, he thought, but she was so haunted. She spoke in her sleep of a person who called her his 'twisted rainbow' but had failed to really understand her. She moved like she was afraid someone would see her but she seemed to attract a spotlight wherever she was. She slept like she was afraid to be hurt. She was extraordinary, and he hoped he would meet her again, someday.
She sat in the cab, all alone, and she tried to learn how to breath all over again. Her body felt so used but in a better way
A flashback.
She shuddered.
He had felt so good, it had been her first time. he hadn't known but she guessed she was finally ready. A thought nagged at her, a thought about someone else she had denied this to. A thought about someone else who had pushed and pushed and made her feel like a...slut, or a whore. But she had given in and denied him only one thing and now she had finally done that with a complete stranger and she didn't remember anything except that she had enjoyed it. She liked him, Dominic, no last name, and he had been wonderful. They had stayed up all night after-just talking about things. Sharing their lives for one night. They had fallen asleep- or had she passed out because she had been too intoxicated to stay awake? She wondered about him- as she would in the future. She thought about who he was and could have been to her.
But she wasn't ready for the emotion.
She wasn't ready for anything anymore. Someone had already ruined her so completely that she almost forgot how to breath, now, sometimes.
Sitting alone, he had his cereal. Didn't bother making the bacon and sausages because it had only been a short while but he already missed her. Not just the scent of her skin or the feeling of her body next to him but other things. He missed the way she spoke to him. He missed how alive she seemed one second and how there would be a flash of something deeper, darker and sadder, the next minute. For some unfathomable reason, he itched to be able to call her and talk to her-this girl had affected him. A random girl who he would probably never meet again.
He wanted to chase the darkness out of her eyes.
He wanted to kiss the pain out of her smiles.
He wanted to make her happy the way he wanted to be happy.
And he would never see her again.
Life went on, and so did they. C'est la vie,
but they never forgot because they felt the emptiness in themselves and the pain of letting go.
They were strangers in the night and strangers forever more but for a while, just a short moment maybe, but a moment that stretched beyond time itself- their souls had touched and become as one. And it was something that could have grown but destiny is hard to recognize in a world such as this that we live in.
We are savage, priding ourselves on our civility in this modern world where we trap ourselves with our chains and try to forget and move on, all the time.
-x-
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